Comments on: Always an Outsider http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/ The Genealogy of my Great Great Grandparents Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:41:54 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Ambar http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/comment-page-1/#comment-1117 Ambar Sat, 24 Mar 2007 15:03:33 +0000 http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/#comment-1117 Yes, I have been direct about it. She knows what she is saying. I understand some of it. I know where she is coming from. I don't like it, but all I can do is ignore the comments. I married her precious eldest son. In her mind I took him away from her and from Uzbekistan. One day she will see that my husband is a special guy. He chose to be American. (my only complaint is that he hides his Uzbek side.) He is precious to me too, maybe one day she will see that. Yes, I have been direct about it. She knows what she is saying. I understand some of it. I know where she is coming from. I don’t like it, but all I can do is ignore the comments. I married her precious eldest son. In her mind I took him away from her and from Uzbekistan. One day she will see that my husband is a special guy. He chose to be American. (my only complaint is that he hides his Uzbek side.)

He is precious to me too, maybe one day she will see that.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/comment-page-1/#comment-1116 Melissa Fri, 23 Mar 2007 21:47:20 +0000 http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/#comment-1116 Your mother-in-law may not realize how she is making you feel. Have you had your husband try to talk to her about it? My mom sometimes says anti-american things that hurt my husband but he doesn't say that it offends him and so she doesn't realize that she shouldn't be saying those things. She loves my husband but its the experiences that she has had that makes her say those things (of course that is no excuse) but being direct and loving can help. Your mother-in-law may not realize how she is making you feel. Have you had your husband try to talk to her about it?

My mom sometimes says anti-american things that hurt my husband but he doesn’t say that it offends him and so she doesn’t realize that she shouldn’t be saying those things. She loves my husband but its the experiences that she has had that makes her say those things (of course that is no excuse) but being direct and loving can help.

]]> By: Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » Uzbekistan: Outside Looking In http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/comment-page-1/#comment-1115 Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » Uzbekistan: Outside Looking In Fri, 23 Mar 2007 01:47:48 +0000 http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/#comment-1115 [...] discusses desperately trying to feel part of the Uzbek family she married into, but constantly feeling like an outsider. Nathan [...] [...] discusses desperately trying to feel part of the Uzbek family she married into, but constantly feeling like an outsider. Nathan [...]

]]> By: Anna http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/comment-page-1/#comment-1112 Anna Thu, 22 Mar 2007 14:03:19 +0000 http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/#comment-1112 And I know you had high hopes for your MIL's visit. Some of what you experienced, though, could be classic (not just Uzbek) mother-in-law stuff -- you know, the wierd competition and 'nobody's good enough for my son.' It's possible that if you visited on her territory, she'd be a lot nicer. So don't give up hope altogether. :-) And I know you had high hopes for your MIL’s visit. Some of what you experienced, though, could be classic (not just Uzbek) mother-in-law stuff — you know, the wierd competition and ‘nobody’s good enough for my son.’ It’s possible that if you visited on her territory, she’d be a lot nicer. So don’t give up hope altogether. :-)

]]> By: Esmeralda http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/comment-page-1/#comment-1111 Esmeralda Thu, 22 Mar 2007 02:31:19 +0000 http://www.ambaronline.com/2007/03/21/always-an-outsider/#comment-1111 (((((HUGS))))) I am sorry that you were treated like an outsider. I don't think it's right for her to belittle you in your own home, in front of your chidren--her grandchildren. No matter what your culture is, no matter where in the world you come from, it is common sense to treat others the way you want to be treated. Maybe your husband doesn't talk about Uzbekistan because he doesn't want to live/think of it. I don't know. I know I try to bring some of my culture to my family. Not to change them or anything, just to educate. I hope your husband wakes up. I know for sure he wouldn't want that to happen to your daughter. When are you guys coming down this way? For Maddy's 1st bday party???? :) (((((HUGS)))))

I am sorry that you were treated like an outsider. I don’t think it’s right for her to belittle you in your own home, in front of your chidren–her grandchildren. No matter what your culture is, no matter where in the world you come from, it is common sense to treat others the way you want to be treated.

Maybe your husband doesn’t talk about Uzbekistan because he doesn’t want to live/think of it. I don’t know. I know I try to bring some of my culture to my family. Not to change them or anything, just to educate.

I hope your husband wakes up. I know for sure he wouldn’t want that to happen to your daughter.

When are you guys coming down this way? For Maddy’s 1st bday party???? :)

]]>