The Happy Homemaker

I never said as a child, “When I grow up, I want to be a housewife.” As a child, I dreamed of being a publisher, working at a book company, or being a writer. As a teenager, I wanted to work for the UN as an interpreter. In university, I wanted to be a linguistics professor or an ESOL teacher. I got to be an ESOL teacher for a couple of years. Then I had children.

I didn’t plan to be a housewife, it just sort of happened. In fact, it was scary at first. I was so used to working. I worked in different jobs since I was 15 years old. During college I would work sometimes 60 hours a week. Most of the time I worked two jobs. I even worked three jobs while raising my daughter when she was an infant. I was just so used to making my own money and providing for myself.

Then I moved to Hawaii to be with my husband. I tried to find a job at first, and even got accepted for a job working at the Army base in their childcare services that paid pretty good money. Looking for a job was a habit. Working was something I just did. I hated staying at home. I am unorganized and hate housework. I can’t stand playgroups because the conversations are so boring. The other housewives’ husbands usually have more interesting conversations, but I have learned that the men don’t want to hear what I say. They ignore me and talk to my husband. I am now my husband’s wife, not my own person.

So, it was natural for me to want to work. I wanted the conversation. I wanted to have something of my own. It just never worked out. I stayed home with my daughter.

Eventually, I learned to have fun with my daughter. I realized how much I missed my daughter’s morning routine. I always worked in the past so I never got to spend mornings with her. I watched her eat her breakfast. We would sing Dora songs together. I went to those annoying playgroups and found out that the women were more interesting than I thought at first. The playgroups were for us moms, not the kids.

I found that being a housewife was a challenge, more challenging than any job I have ever had. I hate serving people food. I would rather read a book instead of playing beauty shop with my daughter. Then I had my son. I realized I had no time to even worry about myself. I didn’t even have time to work out. We would just push my double stroller two miles to the playground to let my kids play, then walk two miles back. Sometimes we would swim. In my spare time I would try to sharpen my housewife skills. There was always something new to learn.

When I had my third, I forgot myself completely.?? I didn’t even have time to worry about housewife skills. I just needed to make it and take care of my kids. The less I worried about myself, the happier I became. God gives you illnesses from time to time to slow your life down. When I feel like I am a slave, I go take myself out for dinner. If I am tired and do not feel like entertaining the kids, I take them to McDonald’s.

I also learned that I was helping more people being a housewife than working. I am not a very good housekeeper, but I am a very good listener. I was able to help women who felt so much pressure being a housewife. I helped them become more laid back. If they needed company, I was there. If they needed an emergency babysitter,?? I could help them. If my family needs me, I am available. I don’t need to ask for days off. Those other housewives also helped me a lot too. They helped me be more organized and structured. We all helped each other. I found a wonderful community that exists in the heart of every town.

Being a full time housewife is not fun! No one cares how hard you work and you never see if you did a good job until your children are grown. You eventually learn about life and that it isn’t about what you want. It is about loving others. It is also about managing your home. If there is a disaster, would your kids still be fed. That means you would have to make everything home made. Could you do that? A career as a lawyer won’t feed your kids in an emergency. I think that is what the LDS leaders have been telling us. Reading the scriptures, praying, having family home evening, living frugally and simple, that is what we need for a successful life.

I may never be an interpreter for the UN or a Harvard graduate. If my children grow up loving God and serving others and surviving difficult times, then I will feel like I am success. Until then, I have to suck it up and grow up. Life isn’t about getting what I want, it is about giving God what He wants. In the end, God is right, being a simple housewife brings me much more happiness.