Amber's Stuff

Mmmmmmm!

Very delicious! Of course my kids are like evil Cookie Monster except they don't curse!

As difficult as my day was at least I can laugh about it later. I cleaned poop, gum, and rotten banana out of my boys' closet but at least I wasn't cleaning up ashes. The most chilling part of the book of Job was the scene after Job was struck with what many modern doctors think was elephantiasis. He sat alone on ashes scraping his giant sores with a piece of broken pottery. He had just lost his children, his servants, and his property in one day. After telling his wife that it was silly to curse God and die he sat on the ashes with 3 friends for 7 days without speaking a word except to cry out in suffering. The first words he said was that he wished he was never born.I have suffered but never as much as Job. I never had to sit my diseased body on the ashes if my life. I still have my family and I don't wish that I was never born.  I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" too many times to wish for that. If sitting on ashes covered in boils Job could still praise Go…

I didn't feel like cooking so I baked some potatoes. We had chicken , chili, and bacon with them. The kids love baked potatoes. Even Eli had a little.

I made lasagna for Jon's birthday. The kids sort of picked at it. Victoria has been sick so I didn't expect her to eat much. It wasn't my best batch but it was cheesy at least and super unhealthy!

I spent a lot of money at Walmart the other day. They always get me with their clearance sales. I bought some toys for Jon 's 8th birthday and trampoline for him to work out on. I also bought Disney Headbands on sale for $10. It is a huge hit with my kids and has kept them occupied while the X Box is in my closet.

I admit it. Well, it shouldn't be a surprise, but I have depression and anxiety. Most of it is because of hormones. I can honestly say that it is more than just a physical illness but mental as well. It is a disease of slothfulness and wastefulness of yourself. You sort of give up on your potential self and are stuck in a sad present. Sometimes it is because you are grieving. I have had times in my life when I had to grieve and the depression I was stuck in was a way to hold on to that person I lost. That is sometimes a healthy depression and one that is necessary to move on. You can't move on until you sufficiently mourn for that person lost.

Then there is the other depression that is more chronic and really has nothing to do with outside influences. You feel stuck but there really isn't a specific reason for it and that causes you to be even sadder. You feel anxious and scared that living life will just bring more pain and suffering so you just hide in your sorrow. You a…

I was reading Seiran Shonogen's Pillow Book for the first time in 12 years and read "Things that make the heart flutter". I realized that I don't have anything to list because my heart doesn't have much time to flutter unless I am in the middle of a panic attack. Maybe the modern woman makes things too complicated for herself and is slowly killing her life away.
It is rare that I even notice a hummingbird or a squirrel. I remember receiving a letter used to make my heart flutter but people don't send letters anymore like they used to. Receiving messages from my husband is exciting. I feel like we are in a secret romance though our notes are about paying bills and how the kids are doing. Since he is the only one who shares that information, the notes are still intimate and special. I love that he can send instant messages from Afghanistan where they still have poop ponds to me in Virginia instantly to my phone.
My heart flutters when I add a little bit to my …

My family's favorite meal is Japanese Curry Rice. We like the Vermont apple kind. I got introduced to it when I worked at the sushi bar. My boss's wife, Chikakosan would make it for the workers after the restaurant closed. I made it for Aziz after we got married and it is his favorite meal.Jon Jon used to hate it but before Gymnastics ate some and said it was delicious. When we got home he refused to eat it and said he hates curry. He ate leftover Jambalaya instead. Maybe he was showing off in front of my hometeacher and his wife who came to babysit Eli and Aron tonight. I can't win with that boy! I think he has his Papaw's taste buds!

Every Korean at some point makes a trip to Sorak mountain in Northeastern South Korea not far from the border of North Korea. I went with my husband, brother-in-law, and a friend who my now ex-husband was trying to set his brother up with because his brother's current girlfriend had unlucky eyes. The girl my ex was setting up his brother with was a spoiled girl studying fashion design in Seoul. I didn't like her much because she would trick us into paying for her meals. She was also fake. Well, we drove in the fake girl's Hyundai car the three hour drive to Sorak mountain. At some point we stopped at a restaurant so that I could use the bathroom. I hung my purse on the hook but was disappointed by the whole in floor that awaited me in the stall. I struggled to get the right position and even got a little wet on my leg. I also forgot that there was no toilet paper so I tried to air myself dry. In the midst of all of that awkwardness I forgot my purse and didn't remembe…

I wanted to learn French and be an interpreter in Europe. I had no desire to learn anything about Asia until I was about 17.A Vietnamese boy fell in love with me but since I wasn't too interested he became my friend. He chased me for a year and even got a job at the same place that I did.I was at a redneck high school and the closest friend I had stopped hanging out with me once she met my grandparents because "I was too rich". ( I wasn't ) So I hung out with the boy who had a crush on me more and more. We bonded because we both had strict parents.We finally dated. We had a sweet, innocent relationship. I wanted to live a better life and go to BYU. I also kept it innocent because I overheard him say "American girls are for fun, Asian girls are for marriage." That hurt my feelings.I was introduced to Japanese culture through a friend. I fell madly in love. Local boys no longer mattered. I wanted to go to Japan and BYUH was a stepping stone to my goal.I met a…

On my wall in high school I put up a portrait of Henry V of England because I loved the film version of Shakespeare's Henry the fifth. I used to dye my hair with purple highlights because purple is my favorite color. Purple was the color once use exclusively by royalty. I used to dream that I was a princess. I recently found out that I am a direct descendant of kings and queens in Europe. I also use to have a weird crush on John Donne and Sir Thomas Wyatt. So I was surprised to find out that Sir Thomas Wyatt is my direct ancestor. I still think they are the sexiest men in history. My husband is Uzbek and a Christian. I am a Mormon. My husband's family is Muslim. We don't drink alcohol, tea, coffee or eat pork. My husband is the most conservative person I know.  He is the only Uzbek immigrant I know who loves Rush Limbaugh. I cook Korean food better than American food and can eat with chopsticks like a native. When I am stressed out I like to blast heavy metal music. I like…

I love to experiment with all things international. Experimenting with international food, music, and language is fun! Experimenting with international  love, religion, and attitudes : not such a great idea. Somehow I found love with an exotic flavor and found someone a lot like myself. Who knew that as I grew up free in Reagan's America a little boy grew up in Gorbachev 's USSR with the same dreams as myself.

Recipe
Tortilla Chips
Mexican Style Shredded Cheddar Cheese

The kids were fussy because I was going out to Arirang's at Dillingham Square. They had a babysitter and just Eli and I went. They refused to tell me what they wanted to eat so I made this Zatarain's Jambalaya with sausage my go to quickie meal. I later brought spicy tuna rolls for Viki to eat. She is my sushi eater. Girl's night out was fun. It is nice to talk to other adults. Eli got whiny and is going through an annoying separation anxiety phase but was cute and enjoyed eating rice with Mommy!