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I Am a Yield Sign

Yeah, girls, it is my honesty time. I am now like one of those people in a reality show in those confession rooms ready to tell all!

I am embarrassed about this usually but I think I should share. I am a size 12 but my chest is about a size 16. Yeah, honey, I do not have a problem in the chest area! However, what most people don't think about is that a big chest does look fat, otherwise they are more than likely fake. I have big arms and shoulders to hold up my 36D's. Another problem with these things is that my back aches and cleavage shows in almost every shirt. I would have been a goddess in the 1950's but now I look like a cow!

I have an inverted triangle body type. I am wide on the top but have small hips and no butt. My legs and arms are skinny and bony. It is not the most attractive body type and most clothes were not made for me. When I lose weight I lose it in my butt first. I have a great body for swimming. As I have gained weight I look more like an apple or a brick. Some would say I am an apple.

Right now I am just overweight. I don't really have weight goals right now. I just want to be healthy and manage my pain. I hace interstitial cystitis and I am starting think I might have rheumatoid arthritis. I haven't been diagnosed yet.

Why do I suspect rheumatoid arthritis? Well, every morning my wrists, ankles, fingers, toes, elbows, shoulders, hips are all in horrible pain for no reason. It takes about two hours for the pain to go away and then I feel alright. I have trouble walking and even grabbing things with my hands in the mornings. I already know that I have arthritis in my neck.

Also, I suspect genetics. I heard about my great great grandmother who after having 7 kids was an invalid. She had to walk with a cane and was unable to care for herself for the second half of her life. With each child her condition worsened. I just felt like I was going through something similar as her for when I was pregnant I sometimes needed the help of a wheelchair. Even now I have trouble walking. We recently saaw my great great grandmother's death certificate and it said she suffered from rheumatoid arthritis.  My first thought was "crap!"

I honestly don't want to check to see if I have it. I would rather see if I can be pain free. Pain management is more important to me right now and that is why I am a huge yield sign on a stick and why I really don't want to talk about other people's problems about only running 6 instead of 7 miles or how life sucks because they weigh1 25 pounds!!

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