The Happy Homemaker

I decided to get back into voice lessons. I was tired of saying to myself, “one day I will get back into singing!” I sing around the house all day and look forward to singing hymns at church. I think it is time to do something more with this love I have for singing.

My “singing career” was short but I did well in that short period of time. I never got the lead parts but since I only sang for less than a year I was surprised that I got parts at all. I gave up voice when I changed schools. I loved my choir director at one school and those days in choir were my happiest in High School. I even got to do a couple of solos.

My problem was lack of experience. Singing is not just natural talent, but it is a lot of hard work. I lacked confidence to do solos and loved to hide in a choir though I would get in trouble for singing louder than the choir. My choir director told me I had a natural knack for opera, and as he was also an opera singer I thought that was a compliment. I never could get over my lack of confidence, however. I hated my own voice and wanted to be better. I wanted to get professional voice training, but I knew my parents could not afford it so I gave up and became bitter because of the rich girls who could afford voice lessons. Of course, they won more parts. I realize now that I could have paid for the lessons myself. I was working at the time and if I really made singing a priority I could have saved up the money to pay for the lessons myself. I could have taken voice lessons in college. In other words, I have no one to blame but myself.

I always had a good ear for music and can keep in tune. From the time I was a small child I had people say that I was a good singer. That doesn’t mean I was ever a singing diva however. Sure I could carry a tune well, but I needed to work on my technique. My breathing was off and I had trouble transitioning between my middle and head voices. I could reach a High high C at one time, but without practice I can no longer do it.

What really got me thinking about getting back into singing was You Tube. There is a channel on You Tube that shows the notes and words to famous opera songs as they are being sung by famous opera singers. I had a lot of fun singing the opera songs along with the most famous mezzo sopranos and sopranos in the world. I then remembered how much I enjoyed singing, especially singing classics. I love Mozart and Purcell the most. Mozart to me is a lot of fun, and Purcell’s Mezzo parts fit my voice range. Handel is also fun to sing.

I got a book with an accompanying CD to practice at home. Right now I am working on register transitions and breathing, two of my major weaknesses. Eventually, there will be a point when I will need to get a voice teacher, but for now, I will practice at home. Maybe my first step out of the home will be to practice with the church choir. Sometimes the choir directors at church studied voice or are voice teachers themselves.

Voice takes a lot of discipline and a change in lifestyle. This is exactly what I need in my life!

Monday - Roasted Chicken with Vegetables
Tuesday - Rouladen (VERY Good!)
Wednesday - Homemade Pizza Hut Pizza
Thursday - Japanese Style Chicken Curry
Friday - Beef Fried Rice
Saturday - Jambalaya
Sunday - Leftovers (Since Aziz will be gone, I will have plenty of leftovers!)

I was reading recently about the trend going on for the past twenty or so years of women choosing to have small families as opposed to former generations when women had as many children as possible. It got me to thinking about how many children I wanted when I was young, and how many children I want now.

Now I believe that you should never plan for a strict number of children. The unplanned children are just as much of a blessing as the planned ones. I never planned for any of my children for example. Instead, the children came and I changed my life to fit theirs. The first daughter came and I had to postpone plans to go to graduate school. The son came and then I had to change my plans to go on exotic vacations. The third son came and I had to leave New York and my dreams of being an urban mother. Do I have any regrets? Absolutely not! Actually when one door closed, many others opened and I love the way my life turned out, even though I didn’t plan it this way. Sometimes, we really don’t know what is best for ourselves.

Children are a great blessing, but child bearing on the other hand is a woman’s curse. The only way we are able to survive all of that pain is the love we have for the child. I believe that God made child bearing difficult or easy to help us make decisions on how many children we should have. I don’t believe that every woman should have ten children and some are even lucky to have one! Look at the prophets’ wives and you won’t see many that had 9 children. If you can have 17 children, good for you that you have the physical gift of bearing children easily. Not all of us are built that way. A quick look at my family history and I see several women who died giving birth or died after complications from giving birth. They were lucky to have three or four surviving children.

I believe that children are never a curse, but always a blessing even though we may not always see it that way in the beginning. However, I don’t think we should have ten kids if it means that we will be so physically damaged that we are unable to take care of the children that we do have, so some planning is necessary. I think that at least a simple guideline is good enough.

I have three children, but I bore them with a lot of pain. My situation could have been worse however. My heart was always fine and my sugar levels were always healthy. My problem was pain. My pelvic bones just don’t hold up children very well. They split too much to the point that they almost split completely. I have trouble walking and sleeping. Other than the pain and lack of sleep, my pregnancies are pretty easy. I never throw up. (The times I did I was actually sick with a virus!) I never faint and in fact have more energy. I am always on the go so the pain I am in makes it difficult for me. After giving birth, the pain stays for another year along with the weight. I am sorry, but I do not believe that breast feeding makes you lose weight. Breast feeding has always made me GAIN weight. Maybe it is because my weight is not so much in my hips but in my chest. Sure my hips are small, but my chest is HUGE! So I generally do not lose weight until I stop breastfeeding.

Though I love newborns, I hate the first month after they are born. The bleeding, the tiredness, the soreness, the milk leaking everywhere the nervousness over every noise your newborn makes, the everything! Dealing with the umbilical cords, the weird variations of poop, the spit up, the constant laundry, the colic all make the first month a nightmare. I don’t get settled until my baby is three months old. The breast milk is more regulated, you aren’t bleeding, and your baby isn’t as fragile.

I wish they taught these details of having a baby when I was a teenager. They teach a lot about STDs, but seem to skip the details of childbearing. Having a baby isn’t having a toy doll. It is very difficult.

I think that is why when I was younger, I wanted 8 or 9 children. I grew up around several Mormon women who did this so that 6 or more children never seemed strange to me. (17 however, is!) Then when I turned about 18, I didn’t want children at all. I long held that attitude even after the birth of my daughter. When I was pregnant with my son my attitude changed a bit and I had dreams of having four or five in a row. That changed after having that son who had colic and cried for three months straight. I then planned to not have another until my son was 5. Well, when he was barely one, I had a gap between birth control methods, and then came number three. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with him, I became excited! Mainly because for the first time my former military husband would be able to share this pregnancy with me. Oh, yeah right, he sure shared the pregnancy!

While pregnant with this son, the pain got so bad I had to go to physical therapy. I was in so much agony I sincerely thought about getting my tubes tied. Every time I would mention this to the doctor, I always felt a little hesitant. the doctor sensed this too and suggested that I not get my tubes tied if she thinks that I will regret it. I am now glad that I didn’t because I would really like to have one more. I feel very strongly about having one more but I know that this is not the right time. My body still needs to recover from having the last baby. My health still isn’t back too where it was and chasing three children around is exhausting. I would also like to wait until my husband is more settled. The moving around is difficult on my family.

So, for right now, four seems like a good number, but who knows? I might just change my mind again, or God will give me twins next time!

How many children did you want and now want to have?

Last week I was given the anti-biotic Bactrim. I went through two horrible nights of illness soon after. I had terrible chills and I had trouble breathing. I was so sick I could hardly get out of bed. The worst part was that my chest was in pain. I went to the doctor and she said that Bactrim doesn’t cause those side effects and to continue taking it.

I waited a week. If a simply had a cold I wanted to get rid of the cold before taking the medicine. Last night I tried it again. Again I had terrible chills and horrible pain in my chest. I had trouble sleeping because my throat and nose were closing up. I also began to get a rash this time, something that I didn’t get before. I had to take a Benedryl in order to sleep.

I didn’t take the medicine this morning and I feel fine. I really feel like the medicine caused the symptoms I was having. There are only certain antibiotics I can take, but unfortunately I don’t remember their names. Even the Z pack made me very sick even though I did not have much of an allergic reaction to it.

I just don’t handle medicines very well. I am not a medical expert, but does the fact that I am severely allergic to molds have anything to do with my intolerance to antibiotics? I hope that does not seem like a dumb question.

Every week I post a menu on my refrigerator.

This week’s menu:
Monday- Chicken Adobo
Tuesday- Vegetable Beef Soup
Wednesday- Dough night, I make something using flour from scratch, usually pizza
Thursday-Plov
Friday- Baked Chicken and vegetables
Saturday - leftovers
Sunday- I am not sure, I may amend to menu to make a whole chicken on Sunday for Easter

I am now living in a townhouse in Prince William County, VA (in Woodbridge). Prince William County is a beautiful, less expensive county 30 minutes from Washington D.C. There are many beautiful parks, rivers, and friendly neighborhoods. There is a lot of shopping with a mall with a lot of outlets, and an Ikea. Ikea is now one of my favorite places to shop. They have a place to leave your children to play while you shop. I am sure Potomac Mills Mall is nice, but when I went there I had a bad experience because my son decided to have a fit.

A great thing for military people is that Fort Belvoir is only 20 minutes away so I can save a lot of money on food and especially on milk. I can’t find cheap diapers anywhere though and the store brand diapers give my son a rash.

I have a three level townhome with a backyard. For the first time in my adult life I have a real fenced in backyard. I hope to do some gardening this year. Since I am renting, I will have to do box gardening.

The school is a five minute walk from my house. I love my daughter’s school! The office staff was very friendly, a relief since usually the office staff of elementary schools are rude. I love Victoria’s teacher and all of her classmates live within walking distance so she already has a lot of friends.

My ward is huge and one of the biggest I have been a part of. There are many housewives like myself who organize playgroups and exercise groups. The ward got the Priesthood together to help us unload our truck when we got here, and they were very friendly. I haven’t got o know anyone yet, but that usually takes time. Since I moved a lot, I understand that it takes a few months to make friends and that they usually come by surprise.

I feel at home here and we are hoping to buy a house next year. We are getting to know the area a little more before we buy, and may buy a home a little more out in the country.

I am actually excited! My back is real sore though. I will write more when I have time I promise!

I was not excited when Evan Almighty came in the mail from Netflix. I had heard it was a terrible movie. I was also put off because the Bible says that He promised to never flood the earth again. I checked the rating and decided as a family we would watch it.

I was happy I did. The movie was a perfect family movie. Victoria loved it! I don’t remember hearing any curse words. The words from “God” were very inspirational and even put tears to my eyes. The story also teaches us about faith. The movie isn’t the best. There are some plot points that do not add up. It was entertaining and there was no reason to shield your children’s eyes.

Sometimes when you are raising babies by yourself, you feel yourself going into insanity. I do this when I am super tired and my children refuse to go to bed. Victoria’s teacher was absent yesterday so she was in a bad mood. She hates change and has been diagnosed with having separation anxiety problems. I had trouble getting her to eat and she refused to change her clothing. I tried to get her to talk to me, but I eventually had to draw a line. She was sent to bed in her clothes. She was happier this morning. The extra rest was good for her.

Aron slept well last night. He only woke up briefly when I went to the bathroom. He woke up on time this morning in a cheerful mood. However, now he is acting sick.

Last night I kept hearing little footsteps. I would turn on the light but see no one. I began to fear that a burglar was in the apartment. Maybe a ninja assassin. You know how active your imagination gets when you are half asleep. I heard a slight noise again. I got up and turned on the light. I saw nothing. Maybe it was a rat, or a cougar! I laid in my bed with my eyes wide open listening for the sound again. I gathered up my courage and went to the bathroom. When I walked back into my room Jon Jon was in my bed.

Jon Jon is my little ninja. What happened is that he wakes up and takes a blanket with him. He slowly crawls to the living room and then runs for the couch. That was the first time I woke up and looked around. He rolls up into a ball in the corner of the couch and covers himself with a blanket so that I can’t see him. Then he crawls to the hallway. When I wake up, he takes the blanket and hides in a dark corner so that it looks like there is a blanket thrown on the floor. He then crawls to my room. I get up again and he hides in a corner in my room, again with the dark colored blanket hiding him. When I was in the bathroom, he made a dash for my bed and was sound asleep before I came back.

I then had a nightmare that I was in an airport. I was in some room over looking the terminal. I was with my husband and Victoria. There was another family there. Suddenly there was a flash and we were buried under rubble. My family survived but the other family did not. There was some food in the room, I guess it was some sort of snack machine, so we were able to survive. We finally got out of the rubble and looked out over the terminal. It was overrun with gangs with large guns. I saw many fires and heard loud music. We got someone’s attention and asked for help. They laughed at us and refused to help us. One man offered his phone but asked for money. We were trapped in that room and no one would save us. We decided that we should save ourselves for we were hungry and we could no longer stand the smell of the dying bodies in the room. As we left the room, some thugs pointed guns at us. We asked again if we could call for an ambulance. They let us, but the 911 call didn’t work because it asked for a credit card number before the call would go through. The thugs laughed at us and then left. It was then that I woke up disgusted by the inhumanity of the society in my dream.

It is funny how each child is so different. Aron as an 18 month old is very different from Jon as an 18 month old. Jon liked to play with toys for hours and destroy and color on things. He was so focused that you had to fight to GET his attention. He wasn’t a big talker. but he could make sound effects very well. He enters his own movie and entertains himself for long periods of time. I love his imagination and his creativity. He makes up names for toys and makes up songs. He already shows wit and a very dry sense of humor. He doesn’t like attention and can’t stand public displays of affection. He isn’t shy though and talks to children his age and shows a lot of charm. When angry his is very sneaky about it and will quietly go to his room and very very quietly destroy his room to get you back. At least he stopped writing all over the walls. He isn’t much into eating and it is a fight to get him to eat a healthy meal.

Aron has to have my attention 24/7. If he isn’t wanting my attention he bothers his brother and sister. When they ignore him, he steals their toys and hit them on the head. He already has to be in time outs. He is not as destructive as Jon was, but he is still young. He might catch up. Aron hurts people more than destroying objects and can be a bully sometimes. He can take his brother and sister and hit me so hard in the face that he broke my glasses. He will probably get in trouble more than Victoria or Jon ever did. They never hit other children. Aron is much more vocal than Jon. He talks a lot for a boy his age in Russian and in English. He loves to look at books and seems to notice the words above the pictures. He doesn’t have a long attention span and hates television. He prefers music videos and commercials and is good at mimicking tunes. He loves Celtic Woman and opera. He loves to be hugged and snuggled and held. When people come over, he is the center of attention and cries when guests leave. He has a terrible temper and when he does not get his way will let you know it. He throws this huge dramatic performance will loud wall shaking screams, will shut one eye and refuse to look at you, hit walls, throw himself on the floor, and finally run into your arms and hug you tightly. He is my drama king. He tells me already when he “peesal” or “pokakal” and will try to change his diaper. He has shocked me by running into the room completely naked. He is going through that phase! Victoria did the same thing at 18 months.

Victoria is my girl. She is a girly girl. She loves fashion and fixing her hair. She loves to read and loves to learn new things. She likes friends, but picks and chooses who she likes. She is all about keeping the rules and routines and can’t stand changes. Even when she has a substitute teacher for a couple of days, it becomes too much for her. As someone who hates change, it is surprising how much she loves school. She loves the challenge and loves being the best student she can be. She won’t be friends with those who break the rules and can be dangerously frank sometimes. (like her father!!) She isn’t very athletic and likes art and music better. She is already showing great talent in math. She can already add and subtract in her head without counting on her fingers and quickly notices numerical patterns. Her grandfather was a PhD in Chemistry in Russia and I think that gene is probably very much showing in her. Her Mamaw is also very good in science and could have easily been a doctor of science if she wanted to. So, the background is there. I will not push her but rather encourage her in doing well in math and science. She is very sensitive and easily gets her feelings hurt. She especially hates it when her teacher is not happy with her. She prefers older grandmother type women to young women. She is a very good friend to the friends she has and is polite and hospitable to guests. She is good at cheering people up and resolving conflicts.

So my son is the creative one, my daughter is the mathematical literal one, and my baby is the physical, social one. I will not type them and will always encourage them to expand their horizons as they grow older. I wonder how my mother would describe her children. . .