The Happy Homemaker

One day people will look at the 20th century and wonder why we fought a battle against nature and why women inject themselves with hormones to prevent having babies, or that women played the same role traditionally for a man. Why do some even try to change the very definition of marriage? Our descendants will look at us with shame. We aren’t perfect you know and history isn’t dead yet.

I thought about that as I was suffering so much after putting an IUD in called Mirena. I became ill for almost two years. I had no energy and I felt depressed most of the time. My body would be in pain from head to toe. I had a similar experience after injecting myself with Depo-provera. Why did I destroy my body so much? I used to look back and snub women of the past who would have baby after baby and then die. Are women today at the other extreme, killing ourselves NOT to have any babies? Women have millions of abortions that cause a lifetime of damage. Birth control screws with women’s hormones. Women do just about anything to avoid being a mother. Girls starve themselves so they can avoid looking like a natural woman. Women are too proud to play traditional roles because then they might have to depend on a man. Well, actually, the men depend on us and if we fail in our role, who do the men have to depend on?

The thing is I will be called crazy because everyone knows that history is progressive so we must be better off than people in the past. I say that history isn’t written in stone and is determined by individuals. History is not a living organism but a story of humans triumphs and trials. History is there for us to learn from. In many ways we have. Scientists have improved our lives. No longer is having a baby the scary thing it was years ago. A baby making three months is no longer a rare event. Cancer is no longer the death sentence it once was. We have so much to hope for. I think the problem is that we are not thankful for it.

I believe that is how we slipped into the Dark Age. Many historians dispute a Dark Age existed. There is proof that the level of lifestyle in 300AD was much better than 600AD. Around the world “primitive” people live among ruins of a primitive advanced civilization. They weren’t always so “primitive”.

Rather than being thankful for all of the comforts we have in this life, we instead go around preaching that man will destroy the world and so we must go back to tribal style living. Civilization is no longer “cool”. It is much better to have free sexuality and have tattoos like the “natives” of some island far away. (I don’t believe any person is “native” to a particular land. I believe you earn land, it isn’t yours because 1000 years ago your ancestor lived there. Even Israel was earned if you think about it. Home is where your . . . well you know. Nationalism is a disease. Patriotism is not. ) People go back to worshiping nature and animals and buying food untouched by man’s technology. We dress like tribal goddesses and men like hobos.

Why can’t be thankful for all the advances and comforts our ancestors gave us and fought for? Why do we spit in their faces and destroy the civilization they fought for?

I am hopeful because there are still people in the world who are responsible citizens and do not expect government hand outs like serfs. These people understand that individualism doesn’t mean sexual freedom, but rather being individually responsible and that in being irresponsible you lose your individuality. People are more and more educating themselves. The problem is that these people rarely exist in major metropolitan areas and if they do they are quiet about what they believe. I know because I live in such an area. My husband, an immigrant from a Communist country, has patriotic bumper stickers on his car and twice his brand new car has been keyed. Those idiots don’t know what a hero he is, that he came to this country and was so grateful that he joined the military to give back. He left a world of extremes and wanted to fight against it.

I also have hope in our Constitution. I believe as long as they don’t change it, we will protected from having a dictator. I see that how Americans worship “a wonderful speaker” they could easily voted in a Hitler. I don’t think Obama is a Hitler, far from it, but it’s just that Hitler was a “good speaker” who promised “change”. He kept his promise for change didn’t he? See what happens when you don’t ask what “change” exactly means?

Someday our descendants will look back at us and wonder why we were so stupid. We had everything, but we chose to act like cavemen and screaming harpies.

Today is my 31st birthday. I celebrated my birthday last night by eating at an Italian Restaurant and then going to see The Dark Knight. The movie was good but I would give it a 6 mainly for the annoying voice of Batman and the fact that the Hong Kong businessman story kind of got forgotten. It was kind of like Spiderman 3, there were too many miniplots that did not wrap up evenly in the end. The director did a great job with what he had.

A lady from church babysat the kids for free. I only asked her if she knew a young teenaged girl to babysit and she offered to do it for free, just to be nice. I was very thankful and it is people like her that prove that there is still kindness in America. Why am I thinking this way? Well, I read a blog kept by a liberal writer and from his blog you would think the world is an apocalyptical nightmare full of tattooed cannibals and that Bush is the anti-Christ. There seemed to be no hope for or society and the only solution is to have Obama tell us to change our lives through the government. As I read on I saw a hint of Marxism, especially in his glorification of the 1930’s working class man. I read on to find out that the man has no family, no hint of a wife or kids, some dogs, and has spent his life living in the city though he lives in a smaller town now in his old age. He also went to one of those “camps” which I wonder if that “camp” was those Communist camps popular right around the time when he was a teenager. He probably never goes to church or synagogue either.

I see the world so differently, but the way we most differ is that I view the world optimistically. I have been around enough good people to know that we do not live in a wasteland. I have seen those tatooed youths grow up and become responsible citizens. I spent my life outside an urban environment and thus I do not believe that the urban lifestyle is neccessarily heaven on earth. If anything I thought the urban liberal areas like New York City were nightmarish and almost third world like. I can live like a princess in the country on the same income as I would living in a dump in New York City. The great thing is that I have a choice not to live there. I also have a choice not to destroy me life and to not eat Cheetohs. This writer made it sound like that a special leader from the intelligentsia who probably never had kids or any responsibility other than pleasing themselves has to keep us normal folks in check. Doesn’t he realize that it was the government and the intelligentsia who put us in the predictament that we are currently in? The old ways of small town America was a Conservative movement, not a Liberal one. Family took care of family, and the government had to “butt out”! I think this writer James Howard Kunstler needs to spend time in rural Alabama or rural Utah. I promise his attitude of America will change. That is if he would tone down his spoiled brat attitude. (That is what he sounds like to me)

Those are my thoughts on my birthday. I gave myself more reason to be optimistic. Do something nice for a neighbor today!

I waited until Wednesday to go grocery shopping because I was having post IUD removal bleeding and hormonal changes. Tuesday I threw up because I had a terrible hormonal headache and took Tylenol to relieve it. Of course then I threw up the Tylenol soon after. I had physical therapy Tuesday morning. Because of my condition I primarily had massage and heat therapy, exactly what I needed. I spent about $20 on eating out. It was either that or starve. We ate leftovers for dinner though I did cook some rice in the rice cooker and I made some split pea and ham soup from the bag mix. I am trying to use some of my food storage.

I feel better overall. I don’t wake up in pain and I am able to wake up even at 6AM. Before I could not wake up. I dragged all day no matter how much sleep I had the night before. I feel like I have more energy now. I woke up at 6AM the past couple of days though today I went back to sleep.

I finally felt ready to go to the grocery store. I went to the new Wegman’s in Woodbridge. Wegman’s prices are ok, but they have so many other tempting items like cheese from Europe and Indian food bars. I did buy a couple of gourmet and health food bars. I also bought a small cheesecake for my birthday and a couple of gifts for someone. So I bought a few extra items and still my bill was the average for myself. I spent $145.

I didn’t buy a lot of meat because I stock up on meat once a month at the Army base. I have to buy two kinds of milk and I bought some cleaning products. I splurged on French butter and imported sausage. Still $145 for 5 people isn’t too bad and below the $185 average for a family of four.

I will try the $100 challenge in two weeks when I go grocery shopping next. I still feel like I am cheating since I have built up a food storage that I can use that if I run out of certain items. Keeping a food storage in the long run does lower your food bill. I have a freezer full of meat and frozen vegetables and a shelf full of beans, over 30 pounds of rice, a box of flour, sugar, and honey, and a shelf of canned meat and powdered milk. So when my budget is tight I can eat from my food storage. If I am too ill to make it to a grocery store I have plenty of food to keep us going. I spent $25 this week eating out. I think I will be under budget this week for food. I hope to do better in a couple of weeks.

MSNBC.com had an article about a woman who tried to live on $100 of groceries in one week. I honestly thought that she did not do a great job and wondered what she eats for $250 a week, only having two children. I spend a lot of food too and sometimes spend up to $200 in one week. We spend about $600 a month in food according to mint.com. A lot of the money I spend on food is due to stress. I hope that will improve with time. It takes me a while to settle in a new place and my husband has a very difficult personality. Sure I ignore him and know he doesn’t mean what he says, but it can still be very exhausting. I have turned to restaurants as a way to relax and feel “served”.

Now that we are spending $300 more dollars a month to keep our cars, mainly because of gas, we need to cut down on our food spending. I hope that as my health improves I will be better at planning and making at home more meals. I have started giving my children a bagged lunch and they love it. I even will let them decorate the bag and can give them a small treat just like as if they went to a fast food restaurant. It costs $15-$20 to eat at a fast food restaurant and $40 to go to a cheap restaurant.

I think I can cut my grocery costs down too, even better than the lady in the article. She has two children and spends almost $1000 a month on food? $100 on food for a week was a huge sacrifice? Even since the price of food went up I spend about $130, I do eat out though. I think I can cut it down to $100. I will write down my list and shop and tell you the price and will try to keep my grocery bill under $100. A tip- when vegetables are on sale, buy extra and freeze the extra.

Well, I am in lots of pain again. This is the worst pain I have had in a while. I slept being covered in icy hot patches and ice packs. I even took a flexeril which did help me sleep and I woke up not being too sore. Then I got up and walked and the pain returned.

I went to physical therapy and usually I feel better after physical therapy. Yesterday, as I was getting off of the table, I somehow hurt my hip. They tried a new procedure on me that was kind of like being put to the rack! They stretched my upper body one way, and pulled my lower body the other way. I thought it would really help because I have so much tightness in my back. It actually felt good while I was there enough to make me sleep. When I got up, I still felt great. My back never felt better. Then I stood up and my left hip went completely out. It was so painful that I was crying. The therapist massaged my hip enough so that could function at least but by the time I got to my car my back was in tremendous pain. When I got home all I wanted to do was rest but my children kept crowding around me demanding to go outside. A similar thing happened on Sunday when I was sick to my stomach and Victoria screamed and cried for an hour to go outside. I finally sat outside with them until Aziz came home. Aziz came home fussing about the fact that I did not cook dinner. He even threw in that I was lazy and was coming up with excuses. He refused to cook dinner and even invited a lady to come over so he could fix her computer. I just wanted to rest so I stayed upstairs. Then Aziz had Aron come to me and so of course Aron would not let me rest. Then Aziz fussed because I was not being social. Finally she left and then Aziz told me to cook something for the children while he stuffed he face with leftovers. It was 8PM. That was it. I put the children in the car and went through a drive through to get them dinner. I needed to go to the pharmacy anyway to get some icy hot patches. So, there, I fed them!

Aziz has this thing that he will not ever help me in the kitchen. He will give the kids their baths and put them to bed for me and he will even vacuum once a month and mow the grass, but he will NEVER touch the kitchen even though that is where I need the most help. He could have cooked hamburgers or cooked some noodles and pour ragu sauce over it. I had rice ready so he could have cooked some eggs and ham and put it over the rice. What is so hard about cooking a meal for the children? His mother has the same attitude. Even if I am throwing up blood it is MY duty to feed the kids and Aziz should just sit around like a ceramic prince poodle to be babied and stared at. I understand he works all day, but the fact that I never get help overwhelms me. I hate that I am sick all of the time and in pain. That is so frustrating for me. I want a neat house and I love to cook, so I already feel down when I am sick or in pain and lately that has been a lot. So I feel even worse when my own husband, the only family I have here, comes home to fuss and tell me I am lazy and gets MAD at me for daring to get sick! I am ready for a vacation. Sometimes the pressure is way too much. Plus the fact I am alone with the kids most of the time.

He wants me to seek emotional support outside the marriage and that is stupid. What is he then? Just some animal like a bull that struts around the farm only to show off his horns? If his only use is to work and pay bills, then I can live elsewhere, closer to family. It is dangerous to expect your wife to seek emotional support outside the marriage. Emotional support is VITAL in a marriage. I feel sometimes like I am literally being tortured.

They were not kidding when certain people put this books on the list as one of the best historical fiction books ever written. This is the book that inspired countless other romantic historical authors from Jean Plaidy to Philippa Gregory.

This novel doesn’t just tell the romance story between Katherine Swynford and John of Gaunt. Katherine tells the story of the period of history and how it affected people from the lowest serfs to the highest nobles. Almost every class of society was represented. I cared less about the romance of Katherine Swynford and John of Gaunt and more about what life on a 14th century manor was like. This book was addictive, I wanted to read more. The Peasants’ Revolt was my favorite part of the book.

It was quite by accident but I have two other books that are about the second half of the 14th century. I am reading a biography of Geoffrey Chaucer, brother-in-law to Katherine Swynford, and the Decameron, a book about the Black Plague.

Katherine Swynford might be my ancestress through her first husband Hugh Swynford, but this is not 100%. Even if she is not, the story was so well told, I feel like I read the story about my ancestors who were not so famous and made their struggles of the late 14th century come to life.

I think the 14th century is important to study as is the 6th for these were times of great changes. (Fall of the Roman Empire, Crumbling of Feudalism and the Church, and now we live after the end of the British Empire and Western European Empires) I believe that we are living in a time of great changes and challenges.

Last year Doritos had a mystery flavor bag of Doritos chips. They tasted like grilled cheeseburger. I actually liked them. This year I decided to try it again. It was a black bag so there was no way of knowing what flavor it was going to be. So I opened the bag and tasted the cheap. I was quickly surprised by the sour taste and my mouth puckered. After the initial shock I found that it tasted like key lime pie. They were sweet and sour Doritos rather than salty or even spicy. I didn’t like them, but I think they would taste good in salsa.

Did anyone else taste the mystery Doritos?

I have to back to physical therapy. My back is giving me trouble again. I really like the place I am going to. I get adjusted, massaged, and then I exercise. The therapist does say there is a connection between back pain and birth control in some women. I will finally get the mirena out next week. I have had it for almost two years and hate it.

Today was especially hot and we were at code red because the air quality is bad. I still went to the pool with the kids and met a friend and her kids there. I love living in Lake Ridge because of the pools, tennis courts, and play grounds. We had a lot of fun and Aron even tried to swim. Actually, he just wanted me to hold him while he kicked his feet.

Aron has tantrums but over all he is such a fun little guy. He sings songs and dances. He loves to make funny faces to make people laugh. He is just terrible at night and when he fights with Jon. Jon and Victoria are also a lot of fun. I can have long conversations with Victoria and we love scrapbooking together. Jon loves comic books and cartoons. I love sperheroes now because of him. Children are a lot of work, but they are a lot of fun too. They are worth the back pain!

I just finished reading Ivanhoe. My university was to snobby to read Sir Walter Scott though we learned a little about him and his style. He is definitely a Romantic. I usually do not like romantic nationalism but Sir Walter Scott does it better than anyone. He doesn’t his heroes near translation to heaven and his “bad guys” one dimensional monsters from Hell. Almost every character is rounded out to the point you have sympathy for even the most horrible character. King Richard is seen from both sides, a chivalrous hero full of ideas and the most honorable soldier and also a not so great king who taxes his people while he spends his time fighting in far off lands rather than taking care of the business of his own kingdom.

This is also a story about Christians and Jews and I have never seen Jews more sympathetically represented. Walter Scott seems to almost feel what will happen to the Jews over a hundred years later and wishes for them to return to their promised land. His Jewish beauty Rebecca is way more interesting than the Saxon princess Rowenna. It’s Rebecca’s beauty that brings warm passion into the cold Templar’s heart, Brian. Brian also complains of the bigotry in the Templar order at the same time he is doing the evil work of the Norman barons. He even makes Robin Hood and his Merry Men come alive as real people not just a myth.

Sure Ivanhoe is not perfect historially. However, except for some weird “soap operaish” plot changes, the novel is near perfect. Sir Walter Scott is not called the father of historical fiction for nothing. Knights, princesses, Robin Hood, Richard the Lion Heart, the Templars, it is all here in the most entertaining novel written in the early 19th century. Try it out!

Now I am reading Katherine by Anya Seton. Care to join me?

Aziz has long talked about wanting to grill meats outside so I finally bought a grill at Walmart for $10. It is a tiny grill, but that is all we need really.

Last night we had the missionaries over for dinner and Aziz asked them to show him how to use the grill. I guess he forgot how to grill since we used to grill in Hawaii. We even grilled chicken in Hawaii. I am also sure that my father has grilled around him at least once.

Well, anyway, the missionaries showed Aziz how to stack the charcoal properly and how to light it. I bought matchlight charcoal so that we wouldn’t have to use lighter fluid.

Aziz defrosted some burgers we have and tried to cook them on the grill even though I had just cooked pot roast. The burgers were a little pink in the middle but were overall ok.

Tonight we plan to make smores (Aziz calls them somemores) over the fire of our grill as part of our family home evening activity.

Oh, yes, another Azizism- “I think the neighbor has asparagus syndrome”

(well, I am sure I say a lot of funny things in Russian!!)