The Thoughtful Homemaker

I am reading about the scandals of the early 1300’s trying to understand what happened. I just could not visualize what was going on. That is because I was trying to interpret 14th century history in a post- modern way which is impossible. Ideas of family life and even privacy and “rights” were different back then.

I read the book which defines the Medieval Noble family. The noble family most closely resembles a corporation more than a family in the sense that we think of it. Their banners and crests were like a very sophisticated brand name. I kind of saw a little of that in England. Streets to this day have a royal emblem to denote that the Queen owns that property and a royal symbol in a store window meant that this store was popular with a member of the royal family. Anyways back to the Medieval, the clan of this certain crest would try to acquire more assets and connections through friendship and marriage. The head of the “corporation” was the Lord. The second in command was his wife who was responsible for the domestic realm and for giving birth to an heir.

Edward II was a terrible CEO of the Plantagenet Limited. His father had protected the corporations interests in Gascony and the expanded into Wales. He tried to take over the Scotland as they had trouble finding a worthy CEO. Best to try a takeover when a business is down. That is until William Wallace became a worthy stockholder. Later the Bruce Company took over Scotland.

So Edward II didn’t have much talent in the family business. He wasn’t much into war and liked gardening and building walls. He sounds a lot like King George III in a way. Edward II was way more corrupt and just plain nasty compared to George III. Think about if Paris Hilton suddenly became CEO of the Hilton Hotel Corporation. Edward like to party, gamble, watch naked dancers, and hunt with his brat pack of boys, Perrot, Gilbert De Clare, and Roger Mortimer (yes Roger was a friend in the beginning). They would rather be planning a party, hunt in the woods Abercrombie and Finch style, or fight in a tournament than fight a war against the wild Scots. The boys almost were convicted as being traitors when they fought a tournament rather than join their king and Lord in battle against the Scots.

Edward II defied his “board” and made Piers de Gaveston his Co-CEO. He left him in charge of Plantagenet Limited while he made a deal with Capet Limited over in Paris. He married the daughter of the CEO of both Capet and Navarre. Nice job Edward!! Bad job with picking Piers who was like the mail boy and put him in charge over those way more qualified to run the company. Piers was also rude and forced the more qualified barons to bow to him. He was nasty and gave them dirty nicknames like Mr. Burst Belly and Whoreson. (he was 30 years old by the way . . .) He even wore the clothes of a CEO rather than a board member. Edward II returned to London with his new bride Isabella who was expecting to take her role as #2 in the corporation. She was pushed aside for Edward’s choice- Piers who even had the nerve to wear purple, a color only for those who are CEOs!

After Piers was murdered, Isabella finally got to enjoy being #2 in the land for a while. That was until Hugh Despenser and his wife, Edward’s niece, took her place once again! Hugh’s wife even had rule of a lot of the Domestic sphere, Isabella’s job. She had enough! In revenge she got her OWN favorite and Edward’s former friend Roger Mortimer on her side and organized a surprise takeover. Edward and Hugh were FIRED (and then executed). The Despenser women were FIRED!!! Isabella made her son CEO in name only while she and Roger acted as co-CEOs. She ran the company just as badly as her husband and when her son grew older he fired her and her boyfriend and he took full power. Edward III ruled way more successfully and made the Plantagenet name respected again.

Edward II made a huge mistake of breaking tradition and putting a favorite (lover?) above the kingdom’s interests. Henry VIII kind of did the same thing with Anne Boleyn and her friends. Edward IV with his wife who was not royal. Henry III did something similar with his wife’s relatives.